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Heck with Parades & Football New Year’s Punch
Skinny Cooks

Ingredients:
Juice of 9 dozen lemons 8 Number-2 cans of pineapple chunks, with or without juice 3-1/2 pounds of sugar 3-1/2 quarts white wine 3-1/2 quarts of champagne 1/2 pint Curacao liqueur 10 boxes of frozen strawberries

Instructions:
There won’t be any punch bowls big enough to hold this amount of punch. An old-fashioned milk can won’t hold it either. The ladies are planning on making this in a blow-up plastic swimming pool. They told me they will put the lemon juice, pineapple chunks and sugar into the pool first and will stir it with a canoe paddle. Then, they’ll add the rest of the ingredients and finish by adding a few big chunks of ice to get it good and cold. They plan on having one or two lifeguards standing by in case anybody falls into the punch pool. They’re going to serve the punch in glass canning jars. I asked what type of food they’ll be serving with the punch, and they all just looked at each other. Finally, one of them said “whatever” and shrugged. It’s going to be some party – and I’m guessing the survivors won’t get over their hangovers until the Fourth of July. Happy New Year! Readers with questions or comments for Dave Kessler may write to him in care of this publication.

12/29/2010