Hoosier Ag Today
By Gary Truitt

If you are looking for an insightful discussion on farm and food issues or a poignant discussion of rural issues, come back next week. It is time for the Indiana State Fair and all that great fair food. This column is designed to provide practical advice on how to eat your way around the Indiana State Fair and still have a modicum of self-respect left when you finish. Let me start by giving credit where credit is due.

Farm World Assistant Editor Ann Hinch gave me the inspiration for this column. At the annual State Fair media lunch, she was attacked by some fair food. While she escaped unharmed, her Farm World polo shirt did not.

We decided then that what was needed was not only a guide on what to eat at the fair, but how to eat it. Suffice it to say, I have been around the fair enough times to offer some qualified opinions and observations.

It is a little-known fact that the original designers of the Indiana State Fairgrounds had fair food in mind. The layout of the fairgrounds is an oval so you can start at one point, eat your way completely around the grounds, and never miss a stand. The only hard part is to remember where you started.

Actually, that is not a big issue since if you forget and accidently go around twice, well who will notice? My suggestion is to start at the Dairy Bar with a cold glass of milk. This will prime the pump and give you plenty of energy for what lies ahead. Then head east, that is, toward the grandstands for those of you who are directionally challenged.

Since there is only one Dairy Bar, when you come back around to the Dairy Bar you will have run the gastronomical gauntlet. Then, top it all off with some ice cream and head for home, or for the first aid station.

A few tips on eating State Fair food. Most food items are harmless, but there are exceptions. As Ann Hinch can attest, the deep fried butter has a nasty surprise.

The innocent looking blob of dough is filled with melted butter which explodes when you take a bite. Either hold this item at arm’s length when eating or pop the whole thing into your mouth and close your mouth before chewing. If you like sweet, sticky, cinnamon-buttery, chewy things, then you will love the deep fried butter.

There are several places at the Fair to get hot buttered corn on the cob. I have it on good authority, however, that the stand on the west side of Our Land Pavilion has the best.

After you buy an ear, and cover it in salt, walk behind the Our Land Pavilion to eat it. Why? Eating corn on the cob is one of the most visually disgusting things a person can do. There is simply no way to eat an ear of corn and not look like swine.

Another food item that should not be eaten in public is the Philly cheese sandwich from the stand in front of the Home and Family arts building. The bun they put it on is quickly overwhelmed by the gallons of melted cheese and several pounds of fried vegetables they put on it.

The taste is wonderful, but you will end up wearing most of the sandwich before you are done. My advice, remove all your clothes before eating. If all this talk of deep fried concoctions is making you feel a bit guilty, there is a fresh and healthy option this year. In the Agriculture/Horticulture building, there is a Farmers’ Market Café.

It features locally grown fresh and healthy products. After a nice green salad here, you can feel good about eating that deep-fried Twinkie.

A few things to avoid: Skip the lemon shakeups. They are overpriced and really do not quench your thirst. Also skip the snow cones; you are paying for frozen water, how smart is that? Also, the syrup colors are just not natural, and people really look strange eating out of those big plastic dishes.

Now for a few of my personal recommendations: The coldest drink at the fair is the chocolate milk at the Dairy Bar. The best energy drink at the fair is the tomato juice in the Agriculture/Horticulture building. The best breakfast is the strawberry shortcake, also in the Ag/Hort building.

Best food on a stick, the frozen chocolate bananas sold by the Lions in front of the Coliseum. Best popcorn at the fair comes from the Farm Bureau because it is free. Best Kettle Corn can be found next to the DNR building - they use a real kettle.

The sweetest food item is a honey stick from Hunters Honey in the Ag/Hort building. Best food to dare someone else to try: the deep-fried sushi in the Japan exhibit.

Finally, the most difficult food decision facing fair visitors is choosing a Hoosier Ribeye or a Pork Chop sandwich. For me the decision is easy: I eat both.

These two items are hands down the best food items at the Fair. So why limit yourself, have one of each. Hey, it is the State Fair and it only comes once a year, so go for it.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Gary Truitt may write to him in care of this publication.