Not many of us are born with the opportunity to choose a career where we can work into a management or ownership position in an existing family business. However, there is a sizeable segment of our society who enjoy that choice – family farms and ranches, and many Main Street businesses and firms.
There are many benefits, both personal and financial, to being in a family business. In many cases, there is substantial equity and an already-established business opportunity available to those who affiliate themselves.
There are some minor complications, however. Markets mature and decline; new competitors and product substitutes emerge; and technologies transform the business landscape.

As the business and competitive environment change, the leadership and management skills of the owners/operators must change, which some are loath to do. Sometimes, after many years of stress and competitive effort, the owners may want to slow down and not risk their personal assets in expanding or growing their business.

Owners/operators are faced with the challenge of creating personal and business liquidity for retirement, to develop an estate plan that includes non-business heirs and to enjoy the fruits of their labors. The timing of transferring ownership and management responsibilities is a difficult issue that requires preparation and readiness of both generations.

The situation becomes even more complicated when two or more siblings are involved in the business. Businesses require hierarchies and they reward on the basis of merit. The impulse of the family is to love and treat the children equally.

Siblings come into the business at different times because of age differences and skills. The challenge is to establish leadership and partnership at the same time.

Sibling rivalries and competitive egos complicate the process. Is there enough income and work challenges to accommodate the personal growth, needs and standard of living of the additional families that will be associated with the business?

All these strains of equality and fairness are heightened by marriage.
The in-laws come from different backgrounds and are perhaps not familiar or appreciative of the business family’s traditions or the demands that the business makes. What role or voice do they have in addressing vested interests of their spouses and the overall business decisions that affect their families?
So, while a family farm may be a viable business entity, it is also a veritable landmine of tensions, demands and role conflicts. Families cherish family unity and can put strong expectations to conform to a pattern and avoid conflict. Yet, in the farm business setting, conflict and creativity benefit the business.
Did I say minor complications? These are significant issues that take considerable thought and effort to work through. Yet, the rewards of a family business are substantial and make that effort worthwhile.

Unfortunately, attempts to solve the bedroom and boardroom type of problems of intergenerational farm family operations require expertise that goes beyond the usual counselor’s or business consultant’s skills.

Just how does a family protect itself from the waste and extravagant consumption of irresolute and profligate heirs, blunt the greedy aspirations of in-laws, force the old man to give up control and stop feuding brothers from their day of reckoning at the OK Corral?

How does Mom, the mediator, keep from having a nervous breakdown?
Where do people in a family business turn to prevent simmering problems from exploding and destroying an otherwise sound business?

In each state there are a few counselors with farm backgrounds, mediators or farm management specialists who come from various backgrounds of expertise to help family businesses work through business and family disputes between generations, siblings and in-laws.

My own method is a marathon consultation that begins with private meetings at the farmstead or a hotel suite. After exchanging e-mails, phone calls or letters, I meet with each family unit separately and then bring them together for a meeting that spans two days and can last for as many as 12-16 hours.
Ground rules and goals for the meeting are outlined and an agenda is formulated. We also discuss issues around the future of the farm, retirement, semi-retirement and effective farm family succession in ownership and management in a family operation. Implications for estate planning often dovetail into these discussions.

We review the current system for how current farm decisions are made. I teach a model of farm management using a family business meeting to process major decisions. Respect and fairness are central to this process while the best farm business decisions are made.

We address pertinent topics relating to the family’s willingness and ability to work together for mutual goals. I teach communication skills, resolve past hurts and disputes, encourage apologies and forgiveness and mediate thorny issues.
Any agreements, plans or commitments agreed upon during the meeting are recorded and then reviewed at the end of the meeting. The meeting ends with an affirmation of the special family ties and open expression of love, concern and admiration that have been buried beneath layers of anger and resentments.
There is nothing quite as rewarding as seeing a family come together after years of conflict. Moreover, the business enterprise is renewed with an open expression of ideas and cooperation in the absence of tension, disrespectful judgments and angry outbursts. The process of working together can be fun again.

Dr. Val Farmer is a clinical psychologist specializing in family business consultation and mediation with farm families. He lives in Wildwood, Mo., and may be contacted through his website at www.valfarmer.com
Farmer’s book Honey, I Shrunk the Farm can be purchased by sending a check or money order for $7.50 to: “Honey, I Shrunk the Farm,” The Preston Connection, P.O. Box 1135, Orem UT 84059.