“This is why we can’t have nice things.” Have those words ever come out of your mouth?

Any time a piece of furniture was broken, an appliance was “boyed” or glass was shattered into a million pieces on the floor, I would find myself saying it. My kids are grown now, so I should have no one to blame for the reason we can’t have nice things.

And that would be true, if it weren’t for two dogs named Belle and Bear.

I have three pumpkins this morning that are in the pasture, with frost on them. They should be up on my front porch giving my house a fall flavor, but instead they are in the pasture.

What’s with the fascination with pumpkins? I know that the rest of the world is all about pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin spice candles and pumpkin-colored sweaters, but why in the world are the dogs fascinated with pumpkins?

During World Dairy Expo, I had my youngest son bring the pumpkins home from the FFA display at the county fair and I instructed him to put a couple on the porch, one by the garage and wherever else he thought they would look nice.

When I came home, the pumpkins were decorating the yard – one in the middle of the yard here, another one halfway down the hill and another one in the driveway. I know Jake is not a decorator, but honestly, he knows better than scatter the pumpkins all over the yard.

Upon closer inspection I saw teeth marks in the pumpkins, and it was apparent that the dogs enjoyed rolling them around the yard and chewing on them. They had been all but destroyed by the two hounds, and so I gave them (the pumpkins) a swift kick down the hill … and they are now residing in the pasture with the horse.

I was nearly pumpkin-less, except the one fake pumpkin the dogs had stolen from my sweet neighbor’s perfect fall harvest display. I pulled it out of the bushes after my neighbor called to ask if that was her fake pumpkin in my yard. Yup, it was – and now it had teeth marks in it and no stem.

So, after church on Sunday I made a side trip to Joann’s Fabrics to see if I could find a replacement fake pumpkin for my neighbor. Four bags full later, we were exiting the store with a few fall items that jumped in my cart – and a replacement fake pumpkin.

Now there are three perfect fake pumpkins back in my neighbor’s fall harvest display, a new wreath on my front door and a new fall motif in my home.

And now I’m in the market for a couple shock collars.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Melissa Hart may write to her in care of this publication.