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Burn friends or enemies with a hot pepper candy

Okay, you fans of hot stuff - this candy is for you. It’s “burn your gizzard” candy, and it’s definitely not for widows and orphans.
In fact, it is so spicy-hot that it may result in ladies and children becoming widows and orphans when otherwise reasonable men try this stuff. I think it was invented for slightly wacky teenagers who like to show off for their friends.

Another theory is it was invented by the coach of a Mexican soccer team who needed something to “fire up” his players when they were behind in crucial games. Put a little bit of this stuff in your mouth and you too will feel like running, kicking and slamming face-first into soccer balls or players from Italy.

It’s a hard candy which you can form into shapes using candy molds and - although I’ve never tried this - I believe you could flow it out onto nonstick cookie sheets and crack it like peanut brittle. 

‘Burn Your Gizzard’ Candy
10 jalapeno peppers with the seeds (remove the stems)
1/4 cup water
1-1/3 cup white sugar
3/4 cup white corn syrup
Powdered sugar
Jalapeno seeds really boost the heat, so be sure you keep them in the mix when making this candy. Chop the jalapenos and place them and the water in your blender. Put the cover on tightly and blend the heck out of this stuff until it’s a thick green liquid.
It takes 1/2 cup of this green liquid to mix with the other ingredients to make the candy. You can make bigger batches by using leftover green liquid.
Combine the green liquid and remaining ingredients in a cooking vessel and bring to a boil until the mixture reaches the hard crack stage, 300-310 degrees on your candy thermometer.
Stir to keep it from boiling over or burning, using a long-handled spoon with a wooden grip so the spoon won’t burn you, and don’t let the liquid splash on you. Keep some ice water nearby in case it does. Fill the molds or flow the mixture onto the nonstick cookie sheet and let cool. You can carefully add some baking soda, as with peanut brittle, while it’s still in the cooking pot if you’d like to make it “fizzy” and not so hard to the bite.
Coat with powdered sugar when it’s cool and keep it stored in an airtight container. Be sure to warn candy eaters that it’s really hot so they won’t think you’re trying to kill them, and attack you in a fit of rage. In fact, if anything goes wrong, please remember that this recipe came to you by Fred Plgephfrnt and not by poor old Dave Kessler.

To order Dave’s book, Skinny Cooks Can’t Be Trusted, send $12 to Dave Kessler, 510 Greenbriar Drive, Richmond, IN 47374.

4/4/2007