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Rural survival tips for Urbanites

More and more urban folks are moving to the country. But they are finding that rural life is much different than city living. Some try and change the rural area to fit their urban expectations, while others try and fit into their new community and adopt the local culture and customs.

To help this latter group, the University of Missouri Extension system has developed a training course on rural living: Rural Living 101, a two-week crash course for ex-urbanites offered in Kirksville, St. Joseph and Nevada. Class members learned about battling noxious plants, pesticide laws, stocking ponds, land use management, and more.

The Vernon County clerk tutored participants about the township form of government, where a board meeting can take place at an elected clerk’s home as often as at a public building.

While these are all important things to know, I think they are missing a few essential elements of adjusting to rural life. So I would like to begin a two-part series that offers a few tips for the would-be rural resident preparing for a life in the boonies.

One of the first things you need to learn is the rural address system. No, not the official one that has things like CR 400 east and 200 north, which is only used by the post office and the volunteer fire department. The real address system, used by the locals involves such addresses as “The old Wilson place.”

This is the farm that was settled by Jack Wilson at the turn of the century but has not been in the Wilson family since 1965. There are also landmark locations like “About a mile past the place where the road curves at the old oak tree.”

The old oak tree is actually an old oak stump, because the tree was taken out by the tornado of ’72. Distances are different in rural areas.

“A mile or so” means at least 3 miles. “It is not far at all” means it will take about 45 minutes to get there. “You can’t miss it” means bring your cell phone and call when you get lost.

There are different driving rules in rural areas. You can always tell city folks on the road because they drive on the left or right side. Locals drive down the middle.

City folks might notice there are no speed limit signs in rural areas. This is because the locals do not believe in speed limits. There are also very few street signs at intersections (see rural address system above).

If you are following a pick-up and you see someone mowing a ditch bank, be prepared to stop. The pick-up in front of you will be stopping and will likely have at least a 5-minute conversation with the person on the mower.

Speaking of machines on the road, do not try to pass slow-moving farm equipment on the road. It is dangerous for you and the tractor driver and will almost guarantee you are not spoken to at the next church picnic. Speaking of courtesy, don’t flip off the old guy in the pick-up that cut you off; there are loaded guns in his gun rack, and he is a good shot.

In part 2, I will discuss how to talk like a local as well as discuss some important skills you need to acquire in order to fit in. I will also answer the question: what will happen to you after you have lived in your new community for 10 years?

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Gary Truitt may write to him in care of this publication.

12/3/2008