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La cuisine de squirrel lacks something without buckshot
I don’t know what causes it, but some folks don’t like British food. The French, for example, would rather starve to death than go to English restaurants. That seems a bit extreme to me – I’ve eaten in London restaurants and starving must be worse.

All of these issues about British foods should change with their increasing fondness for squirrel. A story from The New York Times news service says Britain has gone crazy over tree squirrels. Folks who normally eat right out of a box can’t wait to find these rodents standing at their doorway.

The squirrel doesn’t stand there on its own, of course – the postman often delivers the furry rascals, and British housewives are said to be happy as can be. Times food writer Marlena Spieler says some miserable weather canceled her squirrel hunt, and ordering them by mail was easier, anyway. That’s a poor way to start a meal, where I come from. I grew up in Ohio, and we got our squirrels in the woods. Postmen who delivered such critters were always under suspicion.

Ms. Spieler received her squirrels after they had been harvested, frozen and thawed. She did her best to follow some recipes. The Times story offers all kinds of ideas for squirrel cookery; a London chef says squirrels vary from “no visible fat to about 30 percent, depending on the season, their age and especially, diet.”

That tells me some of these squirrels (if not all) are raised for restaurants. I’ve never seen a wild squirrel with 30 percent fat, and I’m not sure one could climb a tree in that condition.

Britain isn’t like the U.S., I guess. They have some red squirrels, as we do, but theirs are much larger than ours. Grays from North America have invaded and threatened the native species in Britain. A “Save Our Squirrels” crusade was started in 2006 to rid the Isles of the foreign interlopers.

I tend to sympathize with the Brits. We had some tiny red squirrels where I grew up, as well as gray and fox squirrels. Red squirrels were too small to eat and considered a pest in most of the Midwest. We called them “bummers” or “pineys.” A West Virginian I worked with called them “fairy diddles.” Fox squirrels have a tan to orange coloring and inhabit the farm woodlands, as well as some towns. The grays are common in southeastern Ohio and in cities, such as Columbus. Some species can be attractive, while others are serious pests.

Squirrel hunting has changed everywhere over the years, and areas where I used to hunt are often without squirrel hunters these days. We used to slip into the woods at daylight, hoping to shoot some squirrels and be ready to ride the school bus by eight o’clock.
I would like to tell you how to cook a squirrel, but you have to shoot one first. But if you see one in the mail, don’t shoot! Just smile, and send it on to your neighbor.
3/4/2009