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Taking on new critters is a full-time job, even for kids

Easter has passed and the critters are everywhere. Folks are generally cautious about getting pets for the kids, but there’s something about the Easter holiday that attracts small animals – for a little while.

They’re cute to begin with, but then they grow bigger and hungrier. Pretty soon you’ve got a house full of critters, and the dog is wondering how he ever got mixed up with this outfit.

I remember the days when rural kids generally had some rabbits around the place. The bunnies made good pets, and most families knew how to eat them if they needed to.

A little 4-H member once had the quandary of eating a rabbit he had raised for his project. His dad was strict about the matter and said, “It’s okay to keep these rabbits, but we need to slaughter and eat them when they get big. You just need to prepare yourself for that.”

The little boy was strong about it. He took care of the bunnies for weeks, until finally the father had one slaughtered and baked for dinner. Both parents and the older kids were somber when the food was passed around. They knew eating a rabbit might be difficult, but they were stalwart about it.

Before long everything but the rabbit meat had been passed around the table, but no one picked up the serving plate of hasenpfeffer. Finally, the little boy raised his fork and said, “Please pass the bunny.”

Most folks get along fine with a few critters (such as rabbits) around, but people who raise pigs need some strong pens and a few facilities. A woman from Oregon proclaimed this with her lawsuit a few years ago.

This lady claimed she fell over the neighbor’s pig because the absence of a proper pen allowed the pig to trespass on her property. This caused ongoing medical expenses in addition to “pain, suffering, humiliation and impairment of her day-to-day activities.”

The lawsuit asked for $8,000 to compensate for medical expenses and another $50,000 for pain and suffering. I have no problem with the claims for pain and suffering, but “humiliation” is a new one on me.

If I could sue for all the times I’ve been humiliated by a pig, I’d be a rich man. Anyone who thinks falling over a hog is demeaning should try building a secure pen for one.  That’s about the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever been involved with.

Our pigs never went to the neighbors or tried to trip anybody, but they did get in the way once in awhile. We’re getting into a whole new area of law here.

The defendant’s lawyer should have an easy time proving the plaintiff was not tripped by the alleged pig. A pig chart would show the unfortunate porker was just as humiliated as anybody else.

Readers with questions or comments for Roger Pond may write to him in care of this publication.

4/30/2009