That was certainly a relief! We paid all of our taxes: income taxes, property taxes and excise taxes. You name it; we pay it.

Local taxes don’t bother me so much. I can see what happens to those. Federal taxes get under my skin, though. I just got a letter proclaiming, “Good news! The economic recovery bill that President Obama signed into law in February 2009 provides for a one-time payment of $250 to Social Security and Supplemental Security Income (SSI) beneficiaries.

“You should receive your one-time payment by late May 2009. You do not need to take any action to get this payment.”
This is all part of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, and they are trying to make it easy.

Why do we get a one-time payment? Where does the extra money come from? I know we are supposed to be cheerful, but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to government grants.

I still remember the old days when a good supply of bathroom tissue was much more important than the Dow Jones average or the Index of Economic Indicators. Folks didn’t just go out and buy 10 rolls of toilet paper like we do now – we had to ration it.

Readers of my generation will remember the first thing we learned in potty training was how to tear off two squares at a time. Poor folks used only one and rich people probably used three or four, but my family was middle class: We always tore two at a time.
Mother was strict about the two-squares rule. I can remember going into town to visit friends, and the town kids would take a roll of toilet paper and just reel off a big wad. I would think, Now there’s a kid who’s never going to amount to anything.

This was before we had lots of rich people, yuppies and such. People who suddenly became wealthy were known as the “nouveau riche” or simply the “Four Squares.”

Then came the 1950s and commodity prices went sky high. A kid could go to work for a neighbor and earn “$1 an hour and three squares a day.” The town kids thought “squares” meant meals, but the farm boys knew better. That’s the main reason I went to college – the dream of a better life and a steady supply of toilet paper.

My wife laughs when I come home from the store with a huge bag of bathroom tissue. But she grew up in town.

She doesn’t know what it’s like to be 20 miles from your next square.

I remember traveling in Canada a few years ago and noticing their toilet paper was only two inches wide. I think it’s only a matter of time until Canada’s money and their toilet paper will be interchangeable.

Some readers might think I’m paranoid for worrying about little things like toilet paper. But those are young people. Folks of my generation will understand.

Readers with questions or comments for Roger Pond may write to him in care of this publication.