May 24, 2009
Background Scripture: Ephesians 5:1-6:4
Devotional Reading: 1 Corinthians 1:4-7

I don’t think I’ve ever begun one of these columns with a disclaimer, but I feel I need to with this one. I don’t know why the ecumenical committee picked Ephesians 5:1 to 6:4 for this session, but I think it impossible to adequately explore the issues it raises in one session of 30-60 minutes.

Nor do I think it wise that Ephesians 6:5-9, dealing with slaves and masters, is ignored in this survey of Ephesians. If I were teaching on Ephesians 5 and 6, I would require no less than three sessions.

But you have only one session and I have only 61 lines of type, so, under protest, I will focus on something relevant from the premarital seminar “Fit To Be Tied” that Valere and I conducted for a number of years at First United Methodist Church in Dallas, Texas.

Writing that course, we searched the Bible for the Judeo-Christian model of marriage. Instead, we found a lot of different models that at various times in biblical history were considered the norm.
Among these were matriarchal marriage, patriarchal marriage, polygamy, Levirate marriage, concubinage, marriage by capture, by family covenant, by purchase, betrothal and, of course, monogamy, which became the early church norm. We also found that sometimes celibacy was considered superior to marriage.

A Christian marriage

Much of what today is thought to represent Christian marriage is often the product of secular traditions and social customs overlaid with some theological interpretation. For example, many in our Western world are scandalized at the treatment of women in Islamic societies.

But the place of women in these societies is essentially a social concept that once was also prevalent in Judaism and early Christianity – and not entirely absent today.

This, however, does not mean that there is nothing distinctive about either the Christian marriage or the Christian family. We came to define these as those in which is incarnated (made visible or real) the presence and meaning of Jesus Christ.

We came to believe that although there are few Christian commandments and teachings that specifically regulate Christian marriage, it is characterized and governed by the same teachings of what it means to be a Christian person, a follower of Jesus Christ.

So, a Christian marriage and a Christian family are founded upon a “love” that is fuller, deeper and more powerful than what society means by this word. Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind … and your neighbor as yourself.” So, your spouse, your children and other family members are your closest neighbors.

Jesus also said, “Greater love has no man than this, that he lay down his life for his friend.” Well, your spouse and family are your closest friends.

To ‘play God’

A Christian marriage and family are founded upon a covenant relationship. So, it is a commitment that goes far beyond a legal contract. The model for the marriage and family is God’s covenant with Israel and with us through Jesus Christ.

A Christian marriage and home are founded upon faithfulness, grace and forgiveness. As we are recipients of God’s faithfulness, grace and forgiveness, so we respond as givers of these attributes in our marriages and homes.

We challenged those in our seminar with these words:
If you want to play God, marriage and the family give you lots of opportunities-

To be faithful – as God is
To be gracious – as God is
To be loving – as God is, and
To be forgiving – as God is.

I would read and teach Ephesians 5:1 to 6:4 in that context.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Rev. Althouse may write to him in care of this publication.