Recently I was sharing a devotion with my kids about quality friendships. One of the things that makes a quality friendship is a quality friend, and the question was asked: “Are you a quality friend?”

What struck me was that a quality friend doesn’t think about what she gets from a relationship, but a quality friend is a giver no matter what is received from the friendship.

Some friends of ours are missionaries in a foreign country. They have a daughter about the same age as mine and when they were on furlough, our daughters hit it off and have been friends ever since. The two girls e-mail back and forth and occasionally chat online, but never call and obviously never see each other.

Just last week they had the rare occasion to get together for a few hours. I watched as they related to one another. They both come from Christian homes, but have vastly different home lives.

My daughter works on the farm, enjoys working with her show heifers and loves to play volleyball. This missionary kid loves to do housework for her mom, plays no sports and definitely does not work on a farm. In fact, she looked at my dirt-stained hands in amazement. She couldn’t believe the stains that were ingrained in the cracks and crevices of my hands along with my short fingernails. (She told me I needed a manicure.)

My daughter argues with her siblings and unless she’s willing to play Wiffle Ball in the backyard with them at their every whim, they believe she is wasting her life. The missionary kid helps take care of her siblings. When she leaves their home for an extended period of time, her younger brother and sister miss her.
When I tell my daughter to do the dishes, her whimsical reply is, “I’m off tonight, sorry.” She and I banter back and forth in good humor, knowing full well she will do the dishes.

The missionary kid was grounded for two weeks so she could get her homeschool work done. What was she grounded from? Housework! Her mother told her she had to stop doing housework because she wasn’t going to get her schoolwork done. I wish someone would come be a missionary at my house!

These two young ladies have vastly different lives, but yet they still have a quality friendship. They give to one another. They care for one another. They pray for one another. If they haven’t heard from one another in a while, they don’t nag each other about not e-mailing, they simply pick up where they left off.

Their friendship is unhindered by boys, status symbols and competition. Their lack of things in common serves as a way to enhance each other’s lives. They learn from one another. If one of them has success, the other is happy for them, not jealous.
This simple friendship of a 13- and a 14-year-old who live halfway around the world from one another is a living example of how we should treat each other. They are kind to each other, they appreciate each other and they come as close to living out a quality friendship as I’ve ever seen.
What kind of friend are you?

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Melissa Hart may write to her in care of this publication.