Dec. 20, 2009
Background Scripture: Mathew 1:18-25
Devotional Reading: Galatians 4:1-7

In writing “Fit To Be Tied,” our intensive weekend premarital seminar, Valere and I made a thorough study of both the Old and New testaments in order to construct a Christian model for marriage.

Among our discoveries was the unique Jewish practice of betrothal, mention of which we find in Matthew 1:18: “Mary had been betrothed to Joseph …” We assumed that “betrothal” was the same as our contemporary term “engagement,” the period of preparation before the marriage ceremony.

We soon realized although there are some similarities, the Jewish betrothal was significantly different from what we mean by that term today. It lasted for a year and was a legal promise quite as binding as marriage. The betrothed man was called a “husband” and the betrothed woman a “wife.”

It was to be broken not by singular desire or mutual consent, but actually required a legal process of divorce. And if the betrothed man died during that period of betrothal, the widow was regarded as his legal widow.

It is regrettable that Joseph’s role in the Incarnation is usually marginalized. For one thing, Joseph should be credited for the way in which he handled Mary’s pregnancy. The law provided that he was not only justified in divorcing his betrothed, but it was his duty. His honor and the integrity of the community were at stake.

Multitudes! Multitudes!

Joseph, however, was more concerned with the welfare of Mary than his own honor. Matthew says that “Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.”
No one would have thought ill of him had he publicly denounced Mary, but, despite everything, he cared enough for Mary that he did not want her humiliated publicly. He did not seek retribution or revenge.

For the major stretch of human history on this planet – and maybe for all of it – the urge to strike back, to exact “an eye for an eye,” has been a constant and destructive element in human society. How many multitudes have been sacrificed for the purpose of “saving face?”

Although we celebrate Christmas as the advent of the Prince of Peace, we may neither honor nor uphold the peacemakers of this world. As I write these words, it is Nov. 11 – Veterans Day – and I remember that after every war in my lifetime, we have spoken of it as “The war to end wars” and vowed to its victims “Never again!”
Jesus was rejected by many of his countrymen because he refused to be the military messiah for whom they were longing. And regardless of how many people in this world claim to be disciples of Jesus Christ, the all-too-clear teachings of the Prince of Peace are put away after Christmas, along with the tree decorations and Christmas cards.

In a dream?

Joseph is also to be commended because he was willing to accept God’s message that came to him in a dream.

All of us dream, including many people who dream and don’t know it, but unlike many of the great leaders of the Bible, few of us are willing to open ourselves to this kind of revelation, nor are we willing to follow our dreams.

Is that because we secretly don’t believe God can reveal Himself to us except on a printed page? We can’t tape dreams and inner voices, or store them on a computer disk.

So, because of a dream, Joseph agreed not to divorce Mary – and, because of that willingness to listen to God instead of the community, we can celebrate the Incarnation.

But the message of Christmas in our communities, stores, shopping centers, periodicals and television is seldom if ever about the Incarnation. It is about empty good will and meaningless cheer, and the promise that salvation is in things we wrap with red ribbons.
Joseph’s role in the first Christmas was not spectacular, and few may remember him as anything more than “that guy with Mary at the manger.” Joseph’s name, a common one among the Jews, means “may Yahwe add” – and that’s what God did through Joseph.

And that is what God can do with and through us.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Rev. Althouse may write to him in care of this publication.