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Advice for spring graduates: Be a self-starter, be giving of praise

What is a powerful idea? It is an idea that if understood and lived has great power to change people’s lives. As a graduation message I am including some of the powerful ideas I’ve learned to appreciate.

On work and success.
•Success at work is no substitute for happiness in the home.
•Success has a price. You will have to pay the price of success long before you experience rewards or the recognition of others. The price of success is hard work.
•What is truly worthwhile takes time and effort. There are no shortcuts to greatness.
•Find a need and fill it with quality. Your product or service will not sell itself. You have to do it.
•Discover the joys of compound interests and avoid its pitfalls.
•Do quickly and well what you ask other’s to do. It will give you moral authority in leadership.
•Other people know more than you think. Respect others wisdom and ideas.
•Love learning. All your life. There is so much to learn.
•Learn to be a team player. There is great power when committed people work together for common goals.
•Be generous with your praise and recognition of other’s efforts and accomplishments. Rejoice in others’ successes.
•Be a self-starter. Don t wait to be told what to do.
•Put first things first. Start with the end in mind.
•True solutions lie in solving other people’s problems as you solve your own.

On relationships, communications and marriage.

Make your greetings and farewells special. Be the first one to give love. Love creates love in others. It is easy to love someone who is loving you.

Love is a choice. Love is a verb. Love is consistent loving actions, not a feeling. First, listen to understand. Then reply. How people feel about you after talking through a disagreement is more important than any solution you obtain. Other people do not make you angry. You make yourself angry by your own thoughts and assumptions.

Be careful not to interrupt others’ thoughts before they feel understood. Put your own agenda aside and really listen when others are talking.

Be kind to strangers. Don t be so busy that you fail to see the needs of people who cross your path. What you say with your eyes, face, body posture and tone of voice is powerful communication.
Be easy to get along with. Be easy-going. Don’t sweat the small stuff. We gain self-control by the decisions and commitments we make in advance. Be quick to apologize and willing to forgive. True happiness comes through service to others.

On morality, values and spiritual growth. Sexual relations are sacred. They are meant to strengthen the bonds of love and affection in matrimony. Outside of marriage, they have destructive consequences.

What you pay attention to and how you spend your money tell what you value. There is too much in this world that is not worthy of your time or your money.

Cultivate your faith and your faith will sustain you during times of trial and difficulty. There is a power beyond yourself that waits to bless you if you will only ask. The price for a peaceful conscience is obedience to the truth you know and the spiritual laws of life.

Wickedness never brings happiness. Your body is a precious and marvelous gift. Do not take risks with it, either by harmful substances or by putting yourself in harm’s way. Don’t become a law unto yourself. Know and understand that there is a God and that you are accountable.

People are more important than things. Don’t sacrifice your integrity to achieve the approval of others. Have courage to stand up for what is right, even if it costs you dearly. Your word is your bond. When you cheat, you are only cheating yourself. Don t look for the easy way. It is by doing hard things that we grow.

Sense of community

What is a sense of community? How is it created? Why do some rural towns have a greater sense of community than others? Are rural towns losing their sense of community? Why? How can it be increased?

Some people think community is a type of joining with other people of like interests or circumstances - the banking community, art community, bowling community or the “gay or lesbian” community. These are not true communities. These groups are factions of communities.

Community feeling happens when people come together for the good of the whole. People feel they belong to a community when there is a pattern of trust, cooperation and organization that benefits everyone.

This type of intense relationship and mutual trust follows the lead of local leaders who are unselfish, visionary, inclusive and skillful at negotiations and developing consensus.

They have a history of past successes in working together. It is a tradition. Looking at a town’s history, you can identify a core group of leaders who started a tradition of civic responsibility. Their example educated a subsequent generation of leaders on how leadership is done well. They set a pattern of community cooperation and celebration.

It is grounded in the norms and beliefs of the community. “This is what we do. We have strong ties to each other. Our local organizations work together.”

Rural places have an advantage when it comes to community. There is a greater density of relationships. People know one another and relate to each other in multiple settings and roles. They aren’t segregated into interest or age groups. Community activities affect everyone. This is the great potential strength of rural communities. The whole is better than the sum of its parts.
This sense of community is a real resource. You can literally bank on it. The more you have of it, the better children do in school.
As to rural development, it has more monetary consequences than natural resources, location of the interstate, community infrastructure or even the education of the populace.

This sense of community trust and willingness to interact and cooperate in solving community wide problems doesn’t belong to any one person. It is embodied within the community. If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. The more you use it, the more you have.

5/20/2010