I guess as long as there have been governments, there have been conspiracy theories; maybe rightfully so. Even occasionally discounting our government’s integrity, there are times when someone comes up with a confirmed previously undisclosed government collusion so preposterous, it is downright funny.
It goes so far as our benign natural resources departments falling prey to the rumor mill on a regular basis. Just a couple weeks ago, a good friend of mine called me to inquire about a “hush-hush” Indiana Department of Natural Resources (DNR) operation taking place in the Brown County State Park area.
Why he would think I would be in the loop of state government’s dark secrecy, I have no idea. Maybe it is because I hang out in the outdoors, have the stock ethics of a hunting and fishing writer and I look a little shifty.

Anyway, he had been told about a reintroduction project by his son-in-law, who heard from a friend, who knew a government secretary who knows an informant inside the DNR, who confirmed the DNR was involved in a clandestine operation in southern Indiana. It seems the DNR was using black helicopters at night to stock more turkeys in the park area, in order to control the alarming increase of rattlesnakes.

Actually, the individual particulars of the story are true and do have merit, but whoever put the pieces together got it all wrong. First, let’s get the black helicopter into proper focus.

Drug Enforcement Administration agents, state police and conservation officers do use government helicopters, and some of them are black – not to stock turkeys (which we have plenty of), but to look for patches of illegally grown marijuana.

When they spot what may be a patch of illicit weed, they hover down as low as possible for safe flying and use binoculars to try identifying the plants as being of the illegal “Cheech and Chong” variety.

However, the DNR does not use helicopters to stock turkeys, and the enforcement guys don’t fly looking for dope at night.

Now, the part about the turkeys. Yes, the DNR has stocked turkeys across the state for years, but the program for transplanting turkeys into new habitat ended several years ago. I think the last two counties receiving wild turkey transplants were Rush and Shelby, back in the late 1990s.

I remember the Rush County release very well, as the Fish and Wildlife guys released the turkeys about an eighth of a mile due south of my house. I might also mention they forgot to tell me until after the fact. My neighbor at the time, Richard Mahan got to help. He said it was great.

Now the good part: What about the snakes?

Brown County, including the park area, contains some of the biggest timber rattlesnakes you can imagine, and the DNR and a couple of the universities are keeping track of them. The park has documented about 115 of the rare snakes, with some reaching six feet in length. Chance encounters are rare, and no one has been bitten in the park in the past 30 years.

As for an interaction between the turkeys and the rattlesnakes … I doubt if rattlesnakes make up much of a wild turkey’s forage base. I imagine wild turkeys like to bite something good that doesn’t bite back. Worms? Yes! Poisonous snakes? Not so much.

Even with education and our state government encouraging public awareness, the outdoor rumor mill continues to roll along. Variations I have heard of the black ops helicopter stocking stories also have our Indiana DNR introducing coyotes, red wolves, wild hogs and rattlesnakes. Sometimes, I wonder if some of the stories get started by guys hanging out in those “Cheech and Chong gardens.”

(Well, I have to go; I hear a helicopter over the woods out back. I’m going to check it out!)

Patoka Lake kayaking set for Aug. 13

Bring your kayak and join the naturalist for a tour on the lake Aug. 13 at 9:30 a.m., at the Little Patoka Boat Ramp. Before the launch, meet the naturalist at the Patoka Lake Visitor Center to car caravan to Little Patoka Boat Ramp.
The caravan will leave promptly at 8:30 a.m. Enjoy a morning on the waters of Patoka to check out a beautiful rock quarry and look for beaver, bald eagles and other wildlife along the way.

Bring PFDs, preferred snacks, refreshments and sunscreen for the two-hour long journey. Five-dollar non-motorized boat launch permits will be sold at the event for participants who still need to purchase one.

For more information regarding the program, kayak rentals or other interpretive events, call the Visitor Center at 812-685-2447.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Jack Spaulding may contact him by e-mail at jackspaulding@hughes.net or by writing to him in care of this publication.