“A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Speaking positively to someone or offering an encouraging word will go so much further than any tirade of complaints.
I was privy to a recent email that had not
hing but questions and complaints. As I read the email, I couldn’t believe what the author was writing. They felt they had been slighted, ignored and purposely singled out. I immediately responded to the email explaining that the scenario was way off the mark, and proceeded to paint the true picture of the situation.

I was able to shrug this off. Fourteen years of a weekly column has thickened my skin considerably. The next day, irony struck as I was sent another email expressing the same concerns with an entirely different situation. Two people in two different parts of the country, at two different events, came up with the same complaint – both feeling slighted, ignored and purposely singled out.
I was simply amazed at not only the irony but at the self-centeredness of these folks who obviously think they are the center of the universe and if they aren’t acknowledged, there must be a hidden agenda against them.
I understand we all get the wrong impression of a situation; it happens all the time. But these angry individuals could have helped themselves out with a few positive words and some questions that didn’t have quite so many insinuations. Instead, I felt like I was reading a letter of complaint to the drama teacher from a 14-year-old girl who didn’t get the lead part in the play.

The way we approach a situation can sometimes be crucial to the outcome. We are so short on encouraging words these days. It seems we like to get straight to the point without softening the blow.

Some may call this schmoozing, but I call it being careful with your words. Positive words can be the fuel we need to feed the fire of greatness inside each one of us. If we hear we are no good, we soon believe it. If we are told we are wonderful, we might believe it.

This was proven when a group of schoolteachers were given a class list and the students who were exceptional learners had a mark by their name. But what the teachers didn’t know is that the students who were marked as exceptional were marked completely at random.

By the end of the year, those “exceptional” students were just that – exceptional simply because the teachers thought the students were special and the students lived up to their expectations.

Can you imagine what you could accomplish by someone believing in you enough to fuel your fire of greatness? Can you see how this kind of positive reinforcement could affect the success of your spouse or your children, simply by speaking positively to them?

The long and short of it is, it’s time we think about our words before we say or type them. It’s time we speak encouragement into the people around us. It’s time to offer some compliments, maybe a congratulations or just a simple pat on the back of appreciation.

Look around and see to whom you can speak kindly. It’s something we all need. Why not try it? What have you got to lose?

  The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Melissa Hart may write to her in care of this publication.