Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you could possibly have.

-Dale Carnegie, 1888-1955, author and speaker

Wow Dale, thanks – you just slammed my favorite bad habit. I’m so skilled at throwing a pity party, it’s one of the few skills I possess that I don’t ever have to practice; I can just do it! Anytime, anyplace, for absolutely any reason or for no reason at all.

Thanks Dale. Thanks a lot.

Although I enjoy this habit, I do admit, I need to kick it. But how?

Short of taking a Dale Carnegie course on “How to Win Friends and Influence People,” where the outcome seems to be explosively happy people with Rolex watches and monogrammed pen sets, I usually find myself looking at the blessings that surround me. And it normally begins with four healthy children, who are naughty and disobedient – but that comes with the package of raising children.

Then there is the fact that I am able to rise up every day, take on feed and water without incident and oh yeah, the sun usually comes up and warms the Earth. And even on the days when I lock my keys in my van, get stopped for speeding or forget a deadline, this is life and all these little annoyances don’t create world-ending circumstances.

Even the simplest of smiles can throw cold water on a good pity party. Take, for instance, what happened at the local grocery store recently. I was walking along, pushing my cart, and an older gentleman caught my eye, as he was staring at me. I looked at him straight in the eye and all of a sudden, he flashed a huge smile at me.

I thought maybe he was my long-lost uncle or he was going to tell me I just won a new coffeemaker, so I smiled back, just in case it was someone I should know. He stopped and said, “Now there’s a nice, bright smile!”

I thanked him and kept walking and thought, Oh, what a relief – I’m not supposed to know that man! Aww … and he liked my smile!
That’s so nice.

So in the face of a stranger’s smile, how can I throw a pity party? The good, the bad, the ugly – it’s all a part of the life that we live, and we can either embrace the good and learn from the bad or we can develop a really bad habit, waste time and drown in our self-pity and apathy.

The fact is, it’s up to us. We have the choice. We can choose to waste time or be productive. We can choose to get caught up in a downward spiral of negativity, or stand up and be positive.

We can choose to slump down the easy road or revolt against it and traverse through trials knowing there is eternal hope on the other side.

Pity, or Party? Which will you choose?

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Melissa Hart may write to her in care of this publication.