Six o’clock, right on the nose. That’s when your family sat down for the evening meal when you were a kid, and nobody dared be late. Back then, Dad sat on one end of the table, Mom on the other and you ate what was put in front of you.

These days, though, everything’s changed. One of your kids has practice, another has friends over and it’s rare you do anything together at all. Families are just different now, but in the new book The Secrets of Happy Families by Bruce Feiler, you’ll see how they’re also quite the same.

What makes a family?

The answer today is very different than it would’ve been 50 years ago. Back then, June Cleaver was a happy homemaker with 2.5 kids. Today, June might live next door to gay parents, across the street from an interracial couple and down the block from a single mom, or Grandma raising her second family.

But what holds those families together? What, exactly, do they have in common? At the tail-end of a disastrous family get-together, Bruce Feiler decided to find out.

Happy families have a plan, says Feiler. Many of them base their operations on business models, such as “agile development.” They even make business statements so they know where they’re headed.

They empower their children to help figure things out, which, studies show, actually enhances kids’ brains.

Stories are key in happy families, which give everybody a connection to their powerful past. Family members talk about everything, including money and sex, which prepares kids for the future. They fight, but they know how to do it respectfully.

Parents in happy families understand there needs to be a “yours, mine and ours” in finances and in furniture. They strive to understand where everybody stands on important issues and they set rules, but can adapt.

Oh, and that dinner? Happy families understand having any meal together is important. They also know that “dinner is not really about the dinner. It’s about the family.”

So, admit it: There are times when you truly wish you lived alone on a desert island, no family allowed. Those bleak times are when you really need The Secrets of Happy Families.

With open curiosity and obvious delight in what he finds, author Bruce Feiler used his own family as guinea pigs for his research. He then used the advice of experts from business, medicine, psychology and sociology, and got a smoother-running family and children who are strengthened for their futures.

I loved that Feiler admits to being dubious about some of the methods he learned, (but was willing to admit he was wrong about that), and I greatly appreciated that he offers lessons that span all generations, from kids to Boomers, to great-grandparents.

It’s hard to argue with the successes you’ll find in this book, and it’s difficult not to be charmed by Feiler’s experiences. If you’re eager to bring harmony to your house, then The Secrets of Happy Families is a book you’ll eat up.

Terri Schlichenmeyer has been reading since she was three years old and never goes anywhere without a book. She lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 11,000 books. Readers with questions or comments may write to Terri in care of this publication.