By Dr. Rosmann

 During the next few months my wife Marilyn and I will leave our cherished farm in Western Iowa to move to a condominium in Pella, Iowa, for our next phase of life. It’s not easy because much of our lives is tied to our farm and the home we constructed, as well as to family, friends, and neighbors in a community we love.

We’ve lived here for 42 years after resigning faculty positions at the University of Virginia (Marilyn in nursing, and myself in psychology), as well as leaving a home that we built on 3.5 acres with a fishing pond in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains west of Charlottesville. We wanted to raise our children, then ages 4 and 1, on a farm so they would be exposed to the experiences and values that Marilyn and I absorbed as we grew up with farming in our genes. 

Our children received excellent educations in the Harlan Community Schools; they participated in 4-H, acquired lifelong musical skills, and had different social adjustments than they likely would have had in Virginia four decades ago when the county public schools were inferior, and local private schools were too expensive. Albemarle County and the private schools have changed since then. 

Our children learned to work and play hard, how to construct a house and farm buildings, to fix machinery, to like the outdoors, to produce much of our own food, to enjoy cattle and pets, and to experience the serenity, as well as the challenges of living on the land, like the 1980s Farm Crisis.

It’s time now for Marilyn and me to live nearer to our family at Pella. Our grandchildren there have no other grandparents. Our other grandchildren at Polk City, Iowa, have their mother’s parents, who are wonderful caretakers and live nearby to assist when needed. 

Marilyn and I are needed now to help our daughter and her husband who work more than fulltime, and our grandchildren who are busy with school, and extra-curricular activities like sports, religion classes, and soon, music lessons. We are glad to help.

I plan to continue writing this monthly column as well as to finish a couple books. I will still be able to connect with the farmers and organizations with whom I communicate regularly, and to accept new requests. 

For farmers, ranchers, and retiring employees, leaving a daily agricultural way of life is emotionally conflicting. It entails lifestyle shifts, as well as the alteration of social connections, business transactions, and usually the need for financial and legal advice. No way around it, it’s hard, but the next phase of life has more positives than negatives, depending on how we look at it.

First, dismiss the word, retirement. Perhaps you noticed that I didn’t use that term, because retirement shouldn’t predict what follows. 

Instead of having little to do, the next phase opens up many possibilities that I like but weren’t available when farming, such as fishing and traveling at the best times for these activities — late April through June and August through October. During the next phase you get to choose what and when.

Second, the next phase can be an era of capitalizing on our strengths, and especially helping our successors who are taking charge. The next generation doesn’t expect predecessors to be as vital physically as in the past, but they almost always want, and benefit from, useful knowledge shared by their parents and mentors. 

Leaving the farm makes time available for community service and pursuits that were postponed, such as volunteering for community service, taking educational courses, and even sleeping in. What we choose for our next phase should be guided by ideas of enriching our lives while helping others in the process. Feeling useful is key to farmers’ happiness. 

Third, leaving a lifetime of agrarian pursuits shouldn’t be thought of as preparing for the last phase of life. The last phase occurs around the time of death, but even then, departing farmers can instruct survivors how to cope during highly teachable moments. 

Fourth, current research shows the most fulfilling stages of life occur during our late 20s to early 40s when most of us are establishing a career, marrying, and having children, followed by our years after age 65 when we can select what we want to do unless we face serious health problems, financial instability, or other uncontrollable events. But, we can adapt even to those events, research shows. 

Fifth, but perhaps not lastly, it’s important to recognize that our agrarian drive is so strong that it’s essential to plan ahead how we will manage our urges to farm and to be useful. Talking through a plan with trustworthy people who have been through this life change can help a lot. 

Don’t forget having a satisfactory farm estate and working relations with successors. This much, at least, is under our control. 

Dr. Mike is a psychologist and farmer who lives near Harlan, Iowa. Contact him at: mike@agbehavioralhealth.com.