People who take responsibility for improving community life and working for the good of the whole invite stress into their lives. Leadership has a price – and a downside.

Leaders are exposed to the tensions of changing public opinion, vested interests and potential conflict of interest situations with their own personal lives and occupations. Not only do they have the problem of organizing and persuading others to work toward worthwhile goals, they are often caught in resolving conflict between competing interest groups, many of whom might be acquaintances or friends.

The sheer amount of time and commitment involved in public projects also takes a toll. There is often backlash, criticism, lack of appreciation and loneliness connected with being in a decision-making role that affects other people. Here are four ways leaders can cope with the stress of leadership.

Short-circuiting stress. This goes to the heart of leadership itself and the human relationship skills necessary to manage conflict before it reaches harmful levels. It involves being fair-minded, skillful at negotiations, organized, willing to train and delegate to others, communicating effectively, being inclusive of others and welcoming dissent.

It involves being willing to compromise, accepting defeat or setbacks graciously and moving on without animosity.
Problems are anticipated and solved before they reach the point when they become divisive and polarizing. The right players are at the table and win/win solutions are hammered out. The amount of negativity and criticism that comes from unfavorable decisions is muted by the fairness of the process.

Managing personal stress. As President Harry Truman said, “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.” Leaders are in the limelight and are the subject of scrutiny, gossip and mean-spirited attacks.

Instead of trying to protect their image, leaders disarm their critics by acknowledging mistakes and weaknesses. They laugh and poke fun at themselves. A sense of humor, a strong spiritual outlook, a balanced lifestyle and being an observer and student of human nature enables leaders to detach enough to avoid being hooked by personalized attacks.

 If a leader’s income doesn’t depend on constituents’ goodwill, then they are in a position to make tough decisions for the good of the whole or even against their own self-interests. People respect decisions made on principle. Selfless service gives credibility.
Having a clear vision of their lives and the ability to say no helps leaders focus on conserving their energy for the tasks they take on, and to preserve a balance between community or organizational service and their personal lives. Husbands and wives cooperate to integrate their community involvement to conform with basic family goals and interests.

Being a natural learner ensures personal growth and renewal of energy from challenges and changes. As leaders serve and learn, they grow into their new responsibilities and see new possibilities. Stress is seen as a stretching experience. Leaders invest in themselves as well as the people they serve.

Accepting limitations and being patient help to minimize disappointment and to persist in the struggle. Their best is good enough; failure is seen as a learning experience and not a character flaw.

A community leader renews energy by taking time for self, relaxation, leisure and pleasure.

Finding personal support. Busy and responsible people need the nourishment and support of intimate and expressive relationships. As rewarding as collegial relationships can be, they are no substitute for trusted friendships or marriage.

Close relationships renew energy so leaders can serve in the community. They are a place to blow off steam, grumble a bit, ask for what you need, get encouragement, be appreciated and enjoy total honesty. Close relationships are another place to give and share freely one’s love and service.

Leadership brings people in contact with like-minded people outside their local community. These friendships are an outlet and a sounding board for sharing sensitive and confidential issues that would be inappropriate in their own circles.

Leaders need association with peers who share the same dilemmas and challenges they do, and are not threatened by their success. Within their inner circle of confidants, they rely on their own comrades-in-arms to be there for each other and share the battle. Being in it together with someone who cares about you gives greater strength and courage to fight on for worthy causes.
Leaders can sustain quite busy and involved lives if they enjoy emotional support, encouragement and deep communication. Likewise, they avoid close relationships with negative or cynical people who drag them down.

Experiencing the joy of leadership. What makes leadership worth the sacrifice is the worthiness of the cause and the ability to make a difference for good through organized group effort. Leaders need conviction about their roles and beliefs and a visionary perspective to stay the course and roll with the punches. The work itself is its own reward.

But, there is a bonus! Community leaders enjoy the lighthearted fun, friendships and camaraderie that come from working together with others. Within ethical and budgetary restraints, leaders enjoy the perks and sociality that come in meetings, conventions, banquets, special speakers, training, Christmas gifts, travel and retreats. Leadership is fun and can be a needed social outlet for busy people.

Leaders sustain each other through “warm fuzzies,” recognition and appreciation, awards and plaques, publicity for good efforts and all the hoopla they can muster.

Dr. Val Farmer is a clinical psychologist specializing in family business consultation and mediation with farm families. He lives in Wildwood, Mo., and may be contacted through his website at www.valfarmer.com
Farmer’s book Honey I Shrunk the Farm is on sale for $9, with free shipping, through www.valfarmer.com or send a check or money order for $9.50 to: “Honey, I Shrunk the Farm,” The Preston Connection, PO Box 1135, Orem UT 84059.