In 1964, singer Shirley Ellis released a record based on a children’s rhyming game. The song called The Name Game went to No. 3 on the charts and has become a standard part of any oldies repertoire.
The game takes any name and by switching the first letter makes a rhyme. Using the name Jack as an example, the song follows this pattern: “Jack, Jack, bo-back, Banana-fana fo-fack, Fee-fi-mo-mack, Jack!”

It seems this same kind of name game is going on in Washington and in the U.S. media. Names are being changed all over the place: sometimes in the name of increased clarity, sometimes to cloud the issue, and sometimes for reasons only known to those calling for the change. Some of these changes make about as much sense as The Name Game song.

For example, there is a move afoot to change the name of the USDA. This idea has been around for a while, but it gaining momentum with the new administration. Proponents want to call it the Department of Food.

The reason for this change is not just semantics, but a power grab to get food safety and inspection authority totally under USDA and not split with the FDA.

In an effort to improve the battered image of the food stamp program, the USDA has changed the name of the program to Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP). Although I doubt if signing up for the program is anything but a snap.

Other name changes are taking place in Washington, for reasons of image and reputation. For example, when the Congress was passing out billions of dollars under the Bush administration, it was called a “bailout.” When Congress passes out billions of dollars under the Obama administration, it is called a “stimulus.”

Global warming has now become “climate change.” This was because the scientists could not decide if the earth was warming or cooling. All they could say for sure is that it was changing.

Since name changing is in vogue today, I would like to suggest a few names that certainly need to be changed. I feel the new names should be more descriptive and truly represent the nature of the item. For example, I would like to suggest that National Agricultural Day be changed to “Where do you think that burger came from dude day.” This is a term more consumers could relate to than agriculture.

The animal rights movement should be changed to “A rat is not a boy movement.” This clearly delineates the basic issue involved in animal rights. Do animals have the same rights as humans? Speaking of animals, we need to change the term manure to “natural fertilizer.” Then you can smile and answer “Natural fertilizer” when your neighbor asks “What is that smell?” He will smile back and congratulate you on being so environmentally friendly.

GMO-enhanced foods is a term that has caused a lot of problems. People react badly when this term is placed on a food item. Thus, I would like to suggest that we change the name to “Food that is smarter than you are.”

Considering the amount of science that goes into these products and the fact that GMO enhancement usually makes the product taste better, last longer, or be better for us, it sounds like a good description.

On the subject of food labels, the term “free range” should be changed to “a diet of things found in the neighbor’s trash.” This would give the consumer more accurate information of what those free-range chickens really are made.

“Sustainable agriculture” is a term that is being tossed around a lot these days. I would like to suggest the term “Doing whatever I have to do so I can farm next year” might be a more accurate description of sustainable farming practices.

Finally, the term “green” is being applied to almost everything these days. From food to furniture to building materials, being green is in. So, in order to bring clarity to the term, I suggest we replace it with “marked up 25 percent in price because it is not made out of oil.”

Now that you have the hang of this, have some fun and start playing your own name game.

The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and not necessarily those of Farm World. Readers with questions or comments for Gary Truitt may write to him in care of this publication.